Yo dont text me then not text me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize