OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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