There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
