i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
