I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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