The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
