So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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