I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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