I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sorry about my life...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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