I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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