watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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