scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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