I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
