he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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