Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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