you would pick up someone in the library
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
