Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
