I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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