Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
