just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
