i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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