just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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