I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
