My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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