chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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