So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i dont even know how to be here
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
