i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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