We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
