so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
