I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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