You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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