your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
