So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
