After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize