Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
