apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
And then he peed in my hair
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