I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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