census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There r osticjed everywhere
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Randomize
