the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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