Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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