Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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