if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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