One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
