What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
