I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just cropdusted the office
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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