On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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