it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
