WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
