is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
