gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
