I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
