i love accidental penises.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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