Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
