did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
