How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
