The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
