If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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