I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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