The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
