I will die if light touches me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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