your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
