I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize