It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
