These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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