now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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