i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize