at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
