Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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