Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
