This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
